"Santa's Ultimate Tootsie Roll Musical Motion Workshop."
This caught my eye for a few reasons. First, its sheer...tackiness. Second, the creepy look on Santa's face as he clutches an oversize tootsie roll. Third, the fact that this particular tchotchke is available for purchase now. In March. Not December, when one might consider any Christmas themed item to be worth snapping up.
It moves! It plays a medley of 8 favorite holiday songs! And it's "shown smaller than its impressive actual size of about 11 inches high. FREE AC adapter included!"
It doesn't get any better, people. Just 5 installments of $24.99 each.