Friday, July 11, 2008

Breaking Perfectionism's Grip

Not quite "Kicking Perfectionism's Ass," but I'm working on it.

I am a card-carrying perfectionist. I have struggled for years with wanting to be good - nay, PERFECT- at all I do. And when I inevitably make mistakes, I beat myself up and obsess for days (months, years). I am sure that everyone sees my errors when they happen, and - worse - remembers them as long as I do, and -EVEN WORSE - holds them against me. Forever.

(As you can see, being a drama queen along with a perfectionist can lead to some interesting internal conversations.)

Anyway, my latest work snaffle just hit this morning, as I am about to take a few days off to spend time with the parents. (Since you asked, TH and Leopold will be having a guys weekend - lots of beer, pizza, and expelling of gaseous substances. If you get my drift.) To make a long story short, an issue of miscommunication seems to have pissed off a professor. I own my mistakes in this situation. However, I recognize that the professor and a student have also made mistakes. I talked myself down from panic-mode, with the knowledge that out of 30+ situations just exactly like this one, this single episode (in which the student ultimately got done what they needed to) could maybe be acceptable. And when my coworkers and boss backed me up, I only spent an hour and a half obsessing before I was able to move on with my day.

I'm so proud of me.

So while I still have a ways to go, I feel like I've made progress. Gee, at this rate I'll kick perfectionism to the curb right....about....when....I....die.

1 comment:

Nicole said...

Oh and I are so alike that it scares me sometimes. I too am trying to let go of the perfectionism, but it's just so...hard. I'm so glad to hear you're getting a little better! Maybe I'll be there someday, too. :)