Strange dreams

Wow, was last night ever a night full of weird dreams. The strongest one I remember was: I was sleeping out in a parking lot, and the police came. There were many homeless people causing a ruckus (playing guitar, talking, drinking). They were sitting on my car. One of the officers was much larger than I (so maybe I was a child or a teenager in the dream??), and asked me if I was all right. I pulled bloody needles from my mouth and started crying, "They fed me needles!" The officer busted them all. I left the parking lot.

OK, so put your dream analysis hat on....wtf was that all about????

1. I saw police officers at work yesterday, so that's where that image came from. (Don' t worry, they were just patrolling the campus.)

2. The ruckus is probably because our neighbors had been acting out a lot, but lately they haven't - and I've been wondering where they are.

3. Sleeping out in a parking lot is probably because I've been thinking about Into the Wild a lot. (See previous post/book review).

But, I don't know where the needles came from, or why I would sleep outside if I had a car. Or the strong feeling of being threatened/harmed. Any thoughts? Or do you see dreams as randomness?

A New Year

Reflections on a new year... some of the things I've been thinking about lately.

TH and I were chatting yesterday about how fast time flies. We can't believe 2007 is on its way out the door!

I was talking with my sister-in-law about how tired I was of grieving. There have been 6 losses in the last 6 years, in my life. Grieving is a mixed bag. It feels unbearable when you're in the midst of it. If you let it, it softens you. If you let it, it hardens and embitters you. It messes with my brain and changes how I think, literally and metaphorically. And yet, loss is inevitable and part of life. I know my experiences all add to my character. (But isn't there an easier way??)

I'll be starting work as a Deacon at my church this year. It's a three-year commitment. I dreamed about it last night, and feel completely unequipped for this ministry.

My second "grandchild" will be born this spring. (TH is 12 years older than I am, and his kids are young adults, so this really isn't as weird as it may sound.) I don't feel like a grandmother, yet a part of me yearns for the generational connection.

I'll be facing some challenges at work this spring - I know of one already that will seem like a repeat of last spring. Fun.

Settling into our home continues. There are still plenty of projects to keep us busy! I'm learning to live with incompletion.


All in all, I believe I am moving from a season of winter into a season of spring, in my life. New growth, new beginnings. I feel hopeful and anticipatory. I hope the ashes of loss will fertilize the soil that has laid fallow, making the way for some beautiful new sprouts. What is the season of your life? What will the new year bring you?

Book Review: Into the Wild, by Jon Krakauer

I'm not really sure what inspired me to read this one. I am not the outdoorsy type (though I can be, with encouragement), I don't have anything in common with the protagonist, and I have no plans to see the movie (a requirement in my world: if there is a book first, read it before you see the movie). But, I do think Jon Krakauer is an excellent writer. I enjoyed Under the Banner of Heaven. The way that Krakauer gets into a subject and explores it from multiple perspectives, including his own personal experience/worldview, really draws me in as a reader.

Anyway. Into the Wild is a story about Christopher McCandless, a young man who walked off into the wild in Alaska and died there. How did this happen? He was very bright, came from a good family, had every privilege. He was also very idealistic, which, when combined with the passions of youth (remember those?), can form a churning and dangerous mass of intensity. In many ways he was naive and ignorant. I like how Krakauer felt a connection with and identified personally with Chris.

I was fascinated by Chris' travels and adventures across America. I was even - strangely enough - envious. Part of me has enough wanderlust to wish I had the guts to live on my wits, footloose and seemingly fancy-free, like Chris. Riding the rails, hitching around, camping out, coming and going as you please, living your interpretation of your ideals - very seductive concepts. But, I would never live this way, could never live this way (being a woman makes some things impossible, no matter how much I would like to think there is equality). I wished, briefly, that I could have these experiences too. Except for the part about dying alone in the wilds of Alaska. So maybe I'm not that different from Chris after all.

Living vicariously through a book? That's good writing.

p.s. In retrospect, another similar book I enjoyed was Through the Great Canadian Wilderness, a Reader's Digest version of Magnetic North by David Halsey. Same idea, but much more succesful expedition.

Scratch another from the honey-do list!

Before:

And after:

Not bad for a morning's work!

Boxing Day

The day after Christmas is Boxing Day, which has several meanings to different folks (see some here). For me, it's about REST.

How much better does it get? A day off work, new books, a comfy couch, and a pot of chocolate. I'm in heaven.

Happy Boxing Day!