Monday, May 9, 2011

Can't we be friends?

or, I've got some good news and some bad news.

I just learned today that a dear friend of mine is now a parent. That's the good news. I know he and his wife have been wanting children, and it's always a celebration when new life starts.

The bad news is that this dear friend of mine and I are not really friends any more. How can this have happened? We were close as brother and sister, but I haven't talked to him in over a year. When I reach out to him, I get an email back, months later, cc'ed to his wife.

To be clear, I don't mind that his focus is on his wife and marriage. What I mind is having my message un-returned for weeks and weeks. I mind that even when I did last see him, I spent more time with his fiancee than talking with him about the upcoming wedding. She, while friendly, is not my friend - he is. Or was.


What is it about men and women and friendships? Why do some people have such a difficult time with their partners being friends with the opposite sex? Is it because I grew up with an older brother that having men friends doesn't seem weird to me? Is it because TH has lots of women friends, that me having men friends doesn't seem strange? I was never a threat to this woman's relationship with my friend, or so it seemed from my perspective.


I wish them well. But I miss my friend.

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